Introverts are a despised lot ….

introvert

n : (psychology) a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts [ant: extrovert]

This post is a result of a weird phenomenon that occurs each day, unfailingly. There’s this colleague, who keeps popping into my cubicle, uninvited … about thrice a day … at random instances in time. Now his visits bear no purpose – at least thats the impression he gives me. All he does is, come in, take a seat (un-invited again), and start yapping away. Talks boatloads of stuff … abt everything under the sun … from the computer on my desk to his college dating days ….utter rubbish … Doesn’t seem to stop the habit, even though I’ve conveyed it to him that I’m not interested in talking … Seems like he doesn’t want to leave me alone … Keeps coming back every now and then for some stupid “small talk”.

Have you ever come across a person who needs appears to shun company? A person who loves quiet conversations with close friends and confidantes about feelings or ideas …. can give a dynamite presentation to an audience of a hundred people, but appears very uncomfortable in groups and awkward at making small talk? A person who has to be dragged (kicking and screaming) to parties and then keeps whining about it for a long while thereafter? Who is not at ease with the concept of being accosted with pleasantries by acquaintances or even unknown people who are just trying to be nice? If you answered yes to these questions, you are dealing with an introvert …

The common reaction to such people is, to label that person as “too serious,” aloof, rude and perhaps even arrogant. Introverts are among the most misunderstood groups in the world. I know, because I am an introvert.

Now whats wrong with me ? After all, I am gifted with pretty decent social skills. I am not a misanthrope. And I am far from shy. I love to have long intellectual conversations dealing with intimate thoughts and passionate interests, especially with people that I am close to. But its just that I’m averse to indulging in meaningless banter with strangers and acquaintances that I don’t know well enough.

Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened in social settings; introverts generally are not. Neither are introverts misanthropic. Rather, introverts are people who find strangers to be tiring. Now this isn’t antisocial. Its not a sign of depression. Introvertism doesn’t call for medical attention. The only thing it calls for is to leave the introverts to be alone with their thoughts.

Most extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome (like the aforesaid guy). They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone …. indeed, they often take offense at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to yapping.

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain.

I wish it will not be impolite to say … “I’m an introvert. You are a nice person and I like you. But right now … would you please shut the f*** up ?”