Doing what’s required …

Missus Em has been bugging me day and night to post something long and thought-provoking (ie. fluff). Now, I tried reasoning with her, saying I’m not good at writing fluff, however my plea falls on deaf ears (or blind eyes, to be precise).. And then, I remembered this magical quote from Churchill … and decided to post .. not fluff, but something tangible, which is my flavor.

It’s not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what’s required.

- Sir Winston Churchill, British politician (1874 – 1965)

Just to give this post a little context, I’d like to advert to a post by J. Shortly after reading this post, I am the recipient of some instant messages from her, whining and complaining about the lack of “career opportunities” for graduates from a certain university. I listen patiently, and then explain why it has nothing to do with being from that university. My friend persists with the argument, saying people are bagging jobs for the wrong reasons. I disprove that argument and then go on to ask my friend about everything she has done to work her way out. She says, “I have done xxxxxxxxx. I am getting nowhere, life is being unfair to me.” This is precisely when I remembered Churchill.

Not too long ago, I had been in a predicament similar to my friend, however; I had fought my way out of it in a fashion not adopted by many – to the extent I was surprised I could do so much. To blend this situation with Churchill’s quote, my friend is obviously trying her best. The problem is, the best ain’t enough. Firstly, the person in question is doing only her best. Lets say, that out of a certain population of her peers, x% are each doing their best Now, the next question arises – who will win ? Obviously, the best among those doing their best. It is here that Churchill’s statement makes most sense. Doing your best might not be enough. In order to win, to steamroll the competition, you need to outsmart, outwit, outdo and outperform them. You need to do whatever is necessary, often better than your best – and quite often, better than the best …

I’d like to illustrate this with an example, a good friend, a great mentor and former collegue, N. Now N was hell bent upon a Marketing position in the world’s largest software maker. The usual route to this was getting a MBA in marketing from a Top-5 B-school, usually after at least 5 years of work experience. Now N had none of these qualifications. He applies to this position, and gets rejected. He tries a second time .. same story. The third time around, N tries a couple of different approaches, and manages to get a first-round interview for an intern position in the company’s marketing department. This is all he needed, he aces the first round as well as seven subsequent rounds, and becomes 1 out of 25 interns selected from thousands of applicants worldwide. Now, his next goal was to convert his internship into a full-time offer. Once N gets to his workplace, he finds that his peer interns (read rivals) are MBA candidates from Top-5 B-schools. But N is determined to nail the job. He signs up for more projects than he is assigned to, and volunteers for projects that others push away. He then works like crazy to over-deliver on all fronts. By the end of the summer, he had literally killed 24 of the best candidates in the world. Company approaches N with an offer to come on board full-time. The tables are now turned, N calls the shots about the salary et. al … Inspiring story, eh ?

Lets now quickly compare J and N … J is stuck in a box, and doesn’t know whats going on (nothing wrong with that). However, when someone tries to show her ways to opportunity, she refuses to accept it, and thinks the other person pointing a finger and trying to accuse her of being incompetent. On the other hand, N keeps his ears and eyes wide open for the slightest hints of opportunity, and swoops down on them the moment he spots them … In short, he does whatever is necessary, and more often than not, ends up outperforming not just himself, but all those around him…

Speaking of outperforming onself, I can’t but help thinking of my encounter with Y.G.. I had a chance to meet with Mr. G a few weeks ago and boy, was I overawed .. During our conversation, I couldn’t help casually brushing off that oft-heard shibboleth, “work hard”. Coming from a corporate hot-shot, I beleived it must surely have a profound foundation, and I decided to question him further. When asked to clarify if his advice was really as obvious as it seems, it started to make sense… Here’s what he had to say,

How many people actually work hard? I’m not asking about extra hours, but real work. How much time do you waste on the 9th floor of Technology Park sipping coffee in the cafe, or gossiping at the urinal (yes, people do that), or reading blogs at 10:00am in the morning? The answer: A LOT .. Cut the wastage, and do real work. Put in the kind of effort that adds value, take on important projects that no one wants to do, and just see where your career goes.

An introspection revealed – from the average 14-hours-a-day, I realized I “actually worked” for far lesser. And the creepy part: I’ve “worked harder” than my colleagues …. “Hard work” may not be that obvious after all.

Lots to learn here .. for me, for J, for N .. for everybody … like Churchill says, we need to do what’s required …

Lessons we can learn from Israel

For those not following the developments religiously, it all started on June 25th, 2006. Hamas kidnapped an Israeli soldier from an army outpost inside Israel, and killed two others. They demanded the release of Palestinian prisoners. Israel refused to negotiate, and demanded the release of the soldier.

On June 27th, Israel began operation Summer Rains, and invaded the Gaza strip to recover kidnapped soldier Gilad Shalit and stop rocket fire from Hamas terrorists. Fierce fighting ensues, resulting in casualties on both sides.

On July 12th, Hezbollah terrorists cross the blue line border with Lebanon, attack an Israeli patrol, killing 3 and capturing 2 soldiers. Israel responds with airstrikes and missile attacks from a ship, in the process, has severed air and road links of many cities in Lebanon and has pounded Beirut airport, crippling air traffic to the capital.

Although the Lebanese government has pleaded innocence, the offensive has continued unabated, since Hezbollah terror camps and artillery are based in Lebanon. Hezbollah even has members elected in their senate.

Today on 17th July 2006, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert said that the fighting in Lebanon would end when the two Israeli soldiers captured by Hezbollah guerrillas were freed, rocket attacks on Israel were stopped, and the Lebanese army was deployed along the border.

And now look at how India deals with Pakistan … Our friendly neighbours who periodically send us gifts with terrorist affection – Beginning with the Mumbai bomb blasts (1993), IC 814 plane hijack (2000), Akshardam (2002), Parliment shootout (2001), then the Mumbai bus bomb blasts (2003), and now the latest 7/11 train bomb attacks in Bombay …. In each of these cases, the government, irrespective of which party is in power, has failed to do the needful to apprehend the guilty and prevent future attacks. Instead, they meekly give in to the terror attacks, encouraging more attacks in the future … Apparently the government doesn’t mind its citizens being slaughtered like sheep …

Day after day, our soldiers go missing in action at LoC, citizens get blown to pieces and all Indian leadership does is to read those silly speeches, saying “We condemn this cowardly act of terror. We express strong disapproval of our neighbouring country which provides support and encourangement to the terrorists.” …… Why don’t they just record that speech and just play it whenever needed ?

Its high time India gives a fitting reply to all these activities …. The only solution to all this is to put an end to the issue once and for all …. If a tiny country like Israel, surrounded by enemies on all sides, could fight a six-day war (1967) with four powerful nations (Iraq, Syria, Jordan and Egypt) and emerge victorious, its surely possible for us to secure victory against Pakistan and put an end to the acts of barbarism against our countrymen …

All thats required is some guts … unlike the spineless nature of every government thats been elected to date …

Of Broken Dishes ..

When a dish falls, it breaks. You may glue the peices back together, but there will always be cracks visible, making the dish to be weaker than it once was.

This is how friendships and relationships work. Once a rift appears, its almost impossible to fix it, and hope that things would be just as they were before.

However, there is one caveat to this rule – Relations between people are somwhat different from dishes – they can be mended … It has to be mutual though. But most of the time, people are perfectly willing to walk away from the shattered pieces and go buy new dishes …

I never used to beleive in the dish theory, but it seems to me now that I’ve been proved wrong …

Only time can tell ..

Conspiracy

“When you want something, all the world conspires in helping you to achieve it.” The Alchemist …… I disagree, after what happened today

Ever had one of those days when everything seems to be going against you ? Well I just had another one of those. Life has this tendency to suddenly turn things upside down just when everything seems to be fine – And reduces me to a mere spectator, as I watch the events unfold
– All I can do is wonder why things went wrong … To the point of making this the worst day I’ve ever had …

I don’t want to carry this on into a lengthy dirge, so to cut a long story short, all I can say is that me and my life are worthless ….

Marriage Fundas: Part 2

Funda #2: Selecting the Groom / Bride

Most Indian readers would have at least a macroscopic understanding of the selection process of a prospective spouse. For the rest .. to put it in simple words, the system is so complex, that even Einstein would have a difficult time understanding the finer nuances of the process.

The first criteria being race. First comes religion , next comes caste, then sub-caste, sect, sub-sect and so on. The average guy on the street would know only of one caste called Brahmins, but no – there’s more to it than just that. Among Tam-Brahms, there are Iyers, Iyengaars, and then these are further divided into numerous sects and sub-sects … Each one is supposed to have its own beleifs and traditions, and worships only certain Gods. Judjing purely by the previous sentence, the reader would be inclined to beleive these folks to be a bunch of illeterates. On the contrary, Tam-Brahms are known to be a “highly educated” lot, occupying good positions in the Government as well as the corporate world. Yet the dogma prevails.

An Iyer marrying an Iyengaar is considered taboo … Even among Iyers and Iyengaars, there are sub-groups … Vadagalai, Thegalai et. al, and obviously a member of one group marrying another is frowned upon in “Tam-Brahm Society” … You can well imagine the riot that would ensue at a Tam-brahm home, if a guy or girl declares that he / she wishes to marry someone from outside the Tam-Brahm community.

A common way to locate a groom / bride would be to place an ad in the newspaper, or on some website like Shaadi.com. A typical ad would read something like this:

US based girls only for fair, handsome, vegetarian, US citizen, 29, Iyer, vathulam, krithika, VP, wall street firm (NY). Response invited from cultured, broad minded families. E-mail: xyz@gmail.com

The ad speaks volumes about the broad-mindedness of the person that posted it – Most probably some bird-brained aunt, who considers herself the world’s de-facto expert on the selection process. She would usually rave and rant about the selecting the perfect partner from the deluge of responses to the ad. A typical harangue would sound like –

“ We should salect wonnnly ye homely, gaad-fearing Vadama girl / Baay, Yemm Yess in Computer Science from XYZ University, USA, Yemployed with either a Bay-Area tech-firm or a Wall-Street bank, and drawing a six-digit salary… And last but not the least, a horoscope matching on all ten parameters.”

Not even one of these criteria should be compromised on, lest the so-called “esteemed high-class society of relatives should pass any gossip about the family” …..

The surprising thing here is, that the prospective brides and grooms meekly give in to all this unreasonable rubbish … even though they’re well-educated and sensible people ….

Will things ever change ?

Marriage fundas – Part 1

This is a series of posts that are being published for the following reasons:

1. A close friend’s recent experiences (obviously not pleasant ones).
2. Reading this blog post by a fellow blogger .
3. I am pissed at the “system”.

Funda #1: Age
Parents (especially the more “conservative” and “traditional” lot) do not seem to like their kids being independent – at least when it comes to choosing a life partner. They will insist, nay .. be hell-bent upon getting their son/daughter getting married off to someone of their choice. This is especially true in case of girls, who are supposed to be married “off” ( just curious .. is there a married “on” as well ?) as soon as they “come of age”.

Typical dialogue @ a Tam-brahm household ..

Parents: “Vayasu eyrinde pogarathu … chat-putt-nu unakku oru kalyanam panni-aaganum” .. (Roughly translated, it means … You’re getting older .. we need to get you married off quick ! )

Daughter: “Illai amma, nekku ippo MS padikkanum .. apparam PhD pannanum .. athuku aparama kalyanam pannikarein”
(No mom, I want to study for MS now .. then PhD .. will think about marriage thereafter)

Parents: “Kalyanathukku-apparam padippu-ku othukara mapillai-a thedarein … Nee muthala kalyanam panniko .. apparam PhD, MBA, MCA .. enna venna pannu ….. venum-na US-mappilai-a thedarein”

(U can study after marriage. We’ll look out for a boy who agrees to that … First get married, then you can do PhD, MBA, MCA .. wateva you want)

The argument continues …. until one of the two sides gives in ….

Coming up next .. Funda #2: Religion / caste / sub-caste / sect / Sub-sect …

Until then …. stay tuned …

Introverts are a despised lot ….

introvert

n : (psychology) a person who tends to shrink from social contacts and to become preoccupied with their own thoughts [ant: extrovert]

This post is a result of a weird phenomenon that occurs each day, unfailingly. There’s this colleague, who keeps popping into my cubicle, uninvited … about thrice a day … at random instances in time. Now his visits bear no purpose – at least thats the impression he gives me. All he does is, come in, take a seat (un-invited again), and start yapping away. Talks boatloads of stuff … abt everything under the sun … from the computer on my desk to his college dating days ….utter rubbish … Doesn’t seem to stop the habit, even though I’ve conveyed it to him that I’m not interested in talking … Seems like he doesn’t want to leave me alone … Keeps coming back every now and then for some stupid “small talk”.

Have you ever come across a person who needs appears to shun company? A person who loves quiet conversations with close friends and confidantes about feelings or ideas …. can give a dynamite presentation to an audience of a hundred people, but appears very uncomfortable in groups and awkward at making small talk? A person who has to be dragged (kicking and screaming) to parties and then keeps whining about it for a long while thereafter? Who is not at ease with the concept of being accosted with pleasantries by acquaintances or even unknown people who are just trying to be nice? If you answered yes to these questions, you are dealing with an introvert …

The common reaction to such people is, to label that person as “too serious,” aloof, rude and perhaps even arrogant. Introverts are among the most misunderstood groups in the world. I know, because I am an introvert.

Now whats wrong with me ? After all, I am gifted with pretty decent social skills. I am not a misanthrope. And I am far from shy. I love to have long intellectual conversations dealing with intimate thoughts and passionate interests, especially with people that I am close to. But its just that I’m averse to indulging in meaningless banter with strangers and acquaintances that I don’t know well enough.

Introverts are not necessarily shy. Shy people are anxious or frightened in social settings; introverts generally are not. Neither are introverts misanthropic. Rather, introverts are people who find strangers to be tiring. Now this isn’t antisocial. Its not a sign of depression. Introvertism doesn’t call for medical attention. The only thing it calls for is to leave the introverts to be alone with their thoughts.

Most extroverts have little or no grasp of introversion. They assume that company, especially their own, is always welcome (like the aforesaid guy). They cannot imagine why someone would need to be alone …. indeed, they often take offense at the suggestion. As often as I have tried to explain the matter to extroverts, I have never sensed that any of them really understood. They listen for a moment and then go back to yapping.

Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts. Also, it is probably due to our lack of small talk, a lack that extroverts often mistake for disdain.

I wish it will not be impolite to say … “I’m an introvert. You are a nice person and I like you. But right now … would you please shut the f*** up ?”

Hello World

Back to square one in blog-land. Right now, my inventory of ideas is devoid of any useful matter.

I could write about this pall of gloom that’s settled over me. I’m gloomy and I’m pulling myself out of it by promising myself I’ll stay upbeat. It’s working, but not as well as I would like it to. Alright, no point in spreading the gloom, and let me assure you that its pretty contagious at times. I need a little magic to get me started.

Until then, stay tuned ….